Friday, December 2, 2011

Changin Myself

Before I gave birth to Wombat, Hubs and I wondered into our favorite bar while the 2011 Women's World Cup was playing. We found a little corner to sit, eat our buffalo burgers, and watch. It was absolutely the only non-cycling, non-Olympic sporting event I've ever enjoyed watching.


I sat there watching these women being so bad-as (I'm a mom and must watch my language now, so it's bad-as) that it truly inspired me. All I could think watching them: I NEED to be this bad-as if I have a daughter; I must show her every day that she can be bad-as.

Pic from here.

It was so touching to me that I was in tears. Seriously. It wasn't the pregnancy hormones; it was that I've always been a wuss. I've always allowed myself to be a doormat. I let boyfriends cheat on me, get me to pay for everything, treat me like I was only good for one thing, and then I'd beg them to stay with me. Oh, and I'd bail on good friends to be with them. I've also let so-called friends get drunk every time I hung out with them so they could use me as their designated driver. I never stood up for myself and this game really hit home that I couldn't be that woman any more. I needed to be bad-as because my child needed a bad-as mom who sees the imposed boundaries of every day life and blows right through them. And if Wombat turned out to be a girl (we were Team Green after all), I wanted her to see me as a strong female role model. I wanted to be her Hope Solo (or any of the women of the American or Japanese teams*).

So what am I planning to do?

Well, here's my list:
  1. Learn some new words to spruce up my conversation. Using "awesome" and "dude" is really cool, but what about "flabbergast" or "compadre?"
  2. Teach myself to sew (not really bad-as in a traditional way, but I think it's bad-as mommery)
  3. Constantly work to strengthen and improve my relationship with Hubs while being affectionate in a way that shows what a good relationship looks like (we have a great relationship, but great relationships are constantly working to stay that way)
  4. Stop watching television so much
  5. Get outside more, even in the winter
  6. Stop being so shy
  7. Start my own business
  8. Ride 100 miles on my bicycle
Pic found here.

So there you go. I'm working on the first 3 (thank you Being Human for ruining #4 and 5 for me). #6 and 7, they pretty much go hand in hand. #8 is hard when I'm commuting an hour one way, Hubs is spending really long hours on campus, and Wombat can't ride in the Moose Caboose quite yet.

Pic found here.

When I can get on my bike, I do, but I'm no where near 100 miles yet.

Anyway, I know my list isn't revolutionary, but it's a start. Maybe, once I accomplish these, I'll add something a little farther out there and a little more like the women of the World Cup.

*Thank you! Watching you play really made something click inside my head about how strong a woman can be.

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